The episode begins with Devki asking Shastriji what are you saying, how could such a thought even enter your mind? Shastriji says please tell me Devkiji, what right do I have to live? I have been proven to be such an unsuccessful father, after teaching people about faith and good upbringing, I could not teach my own daughter. I have no right to call myself a Shastri, I cannot live my life as a man with a difference in speech and action. My self respect is my life and when people have squashed my self respect, what is the use of living? I will complete my remaining tasks and then take a Jal Samadhi. devki says please stop, please stop, I cannot argue with you on faith, as a wife I can only request you to change your mind. Devki goes to Amma and says please explain to him Ammaji. Amma is in tears and says don’t act mad lalla, please think of your family. Till now you did whatever you wished, but now it is the extreme. Which mother can see her son leave this earth.
Shastriji says please don’t try and change my decision Amma it is of no use, I know you might find my words strange but then again, when has this world ever understood me? Maybe that’s why God is calling me to him, maybe he created these circumstances for me. I had two daughters to take care of, one died and the other is in the service of God. i am just following God’s path, do not try to change my path. Shastriji goes in his room, Amma is saying what is wrong with Lalla, yesterday he did Vishaka’s tarpan and today this..
In the ashram, Janki didi seeing Radhika in the morning, she tells Radhika your eyes are swollen, didn’t you sleep? Even yesterday you were upset, what is the matter Radhika? Radhika says no nothing, maybe I am tired. Janki didi holds her hand to take her but notices she has a fever and is shocked, tells her why do you do double your work, please go and rest. Radhika says no I am fine. Janki didi says just as you take care of the ashram, the ashram’s responsibility is that of your well being. Radhika says please let me work Janki didi, otherwise I will get more anxious.
In Vrindavan, Shastriji gives Devki some items he has collected- some money, and some other savings. Amma and Devki is shocked. Shastriji says I have never taken any debt, always beleived in living within our means and therefore you should not have any problem. He then gives her a silver kanha, saying this is what I had kept for years with care, please give it to Radhika. Shastriji says Barsaana is not far from here, if you want to meet her, you will get special permission. Shastriji also gives Devki some temple items and says if you ever decide to take care of another temple, these items with help you. Shastriji is leaving, Amma stops him and says kahan ja raha hai lalla, hum tuko na jaane dengi(where are you going lalla, I will not let you go). shastriji says mere mann ko vichalit na karein (please don’t create anxiety in my mind), please take care of yourself, you and Devki have to take care of each other. Shastriji leaves the house. Amma keeps says lalla lalla. Shastriji says there are some remaining tasks in the temple which I will complete soon. Amma holds Shastriji’s hand, but Shastriji pushes it away and leaves. Amma screams lalla, lalla, then goes back to Devki, who is standing in shock and screams bahuriya, hosh mein aa bahuriya (come back to your senses). Both start screaming and run and try to stop shastriji.
Meanwhile Vaishali and Dadi are going to Shastriji’s house in their car and Dadi says yesterday also went just like that, we should have sat next to Devki for some time, god knows how they took care of Shastriji, vaishali says good we decided to go to their house, god only knows what is happening there.
Amma and Devki are running on the road barefoot trying to stop Shastriji. Dadi sees Devki running, she asks the driver to stop the car and they stop Devki and ask what happened. Devki is crying and says woh apni jaan dene jaa rahein hain (he is going to take his life), Dadi and Vaishali are shocked. Amma comes running and says he has decided, he has made up his mind. Dadi says koi to hoga aise jiski baat sune woh (there must be someone to whom he will listen), someone who could be here to stop this. Amma realizes that the person could be Radhika.
In the ashram, Radhika asks some girls, someone has come to meet me? They point towards someone, Radhika is shocked to see it is Amma. She goes towards Amma, folds her hands, Amma is crying. Radhika asks amma aap, yahan, ama kyon roh rahi hain aap, kuch boliye na(amma, you here, what happened, why are you crying?) Amma HOLDS her hand (radhika is surprised) and says chal more saath, iss vakath (come with me now, this minute). Radhika pushes her hand away and says aap mujhe chalne ke liye keh rahi hain (you are telling me to come?) Amma nods and Radhika asks what happened. Amma cries and says your father has decided to take jal samadhi in the Jamuna river. Radhika is shocked.
Meanwhile Shastriji is at the temple, prays to Radhekrishna and does his final work at the temple. Shastriji is leaving the temple and asks this girl playing where Nandu is, she says he has gone to school. Shastriji gives something to give to her father, the girl asks are you going somewhere?
Shastriji is quiet and the girl says Radhika taught us that if someone is leaving we should say have a good journey. Radhika meanwhile tells Amma what are you saying Amma? Amma says in your sorrow, in Vishaka’s sorrow, he says he has no reason to live. amma says tu hi uko samjha sakat hai, tu hi uko rok sakath hai, bacha le more lalal ko, bachaleyo apne babuji ko (you can explain to him, you can stop him, please save my lalla, please save your father). Radhika just stares at amma. Amma says I know you are not ready to leave the ashram, you want to live here forever, but lalla is ready to sacrifice his life, in this situation your faith does not tell you that you have to save someone’s life? Radhika says no Amma, I cannot leave this ashram. Amma says this is not the time to think of all this, I know that night I had asked you to leave the house, today I have come to take you back. amma holds her saree paloo up with both hands (when you have to ask for bhiksha) and says main tore aage jholi faila rahi hoon, more lalla ko mujhe dede (I am begging you give me lalla). Radhika is crying.
Amma says main tere haath jhodti hoon (folds her hands), tere pair padat hoon (bends down in front of Radhika, radhika is shocked. amma then says pathar puja ka i matlab na hai ki insaan hi pathar ho jaye (by worshipping a stone idol does not mean we as humans become stonehearted), I can only beg in front of you, you have to decide. amma folds her hands, says radhe radhe and leaves. radhika is walking in shock (tu hi aake bol kanha is playing).
Radhika goes to pray in the ashram temple and says I had given you my life Kanha, I am in your protection, now you tell em what to do. I broke every wordly tie and came here, left behind all moh maaya. Even when babuji was sick I didn’t go, so how do I go today? If this ashram is my world, then why does that world keep calling me. please tell me what to do, what to do?
KANHA MAKES HIS APPEARANCE FINALLY and says Radhika… Radhika looks at Kanha in shock and says why is all this happening kanha, situations are arising that are calling me back to that world. Kanha says mujhe aashcharya hai ke yeh prashn tum kar rahi ho (I am surprised that you are asking this question). Kanha sam log tumhe itna dhaarmic samajhte hain na, aur tumhe apne dharm samjhne main itni duvidha ho rahi hai? (people consider you faithful and you are having so much trouble understanding your duty/faith?) Your dharm is towards your father who took care of you, your dharm is towards your mother who kept you in her shade, your dharm is towards your house that gave you shelter for so many years. Then why are you waiting her Radhika? Kanha says I did not chose this ashram for you radhika, you chose this yourself. Radhika is shocked. The outside world is calling you because you belong there, not here. Kanha says jao Radhika, apne pita ko bachao(go Radhika, save your father), the ashram’s doors cannot stop you, go Radhika. Radhika folds her hands, Kanha disappears. Radhika runs towards the gates, everyone is looking at her. she reaches the gates, opens them and steps forward.
Precap: Radhika is on the road and a car is on the same road, it brakes right in front of her, she rests her head on the car bonnet.
Choti Bahu 5th August 09 – Written Update,